Kimchee et al

Traditional Korean foods, handmade by a friend.

     Koreans smell like kimchee. They probably don't realize it -- like Turks don't know they smell of mutton and garlic. All Koreans eat kimchee, everyday, with every meal. So it is no surprise they smell like kimchee. They make it with any vegetable available, soaked in a vat of vinegar, horseradish, garlic, red chili, and a smidge of sugar. They leave this to ferment in covered, brown clay pots on the porch for a given number of weeks. The end result smells a lot like offal. The above photo is a plate of food made by my Korean neighbor, hand delivered to us on a national holiday. If you look closely, you can see a veggie with a bite out of it. 'Nuff said. The white and purple egg-shaped balls are a desert that have no taste, but have the texture of playdough or silly putty. You might also notice there is no bite out of these delicacies. Hmmm. (Took one bite and tossed it.)

Kimchee display in the commissary on base.

     So, what does someone smell like after a steady diet of kimchee? Well, let me share an anecdote from this week: I walked into a small room to make copies on the copy machine, and while waiting for my copies I became aware that the room smelled of skunk. I stopped dead in my tracks, because there's no way I could smell a skunk: there are no skunks in Korea. And since I knew I couldn't possibly smell of skunk, my powers of observation compelled me to turn around and notice a Korean student typing on the only computer in this tiny room.
     Indulge me in one more anecdote, to prove I'm not a racist: I picked up fried chicken from a takeout shop last night. The chicken smelled great. When I got it home, the bag also contained an added surprise -- a container of white chunks in clear liquid. I hoped it might be raw potatoes to fry on stovetop. Alas, when the lid was removed, my dear husband gasped and asked, "Why does the kitchen smell like a dirty diaper?" Then he saw the take-out bonus -- kimchee. Fresh kimchee. Mmmmm.
     I won't be eating kimchee anytime soon.